Sunday, December 28, 2008

BASIC(ally)

Hey! ally's name's in the title..not on purpose though. Okay soo B.A.S.I.C. (the Christian Club at GWHS, for those who don't know) is struggling a bit. About a month ago, all of us leaders saw that our club was going downhill, so we decided to have a meeting soley to talk about our problem and how to fix it. Most of us said that we had a bonding problem; that we weren't as close as we wanted/should be. We then decided to have bible study to bring us closer together, but none of us were free until winter break..so we had our first bible study last tuesday. There are 8 leaders, but only 5 showed up..again, we all agreed on a date that we were all free, but i guess some had other plans..? idk..
So i guess just pray for the leaders, that they would have the want and see the need to bond more. I don't think that we're helping our members to grow at all either. yeah...just pray that God would strengthen our club, especially the leaders.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Agape and Me.

On Monday, Agape had its first ever Leaders' Retreat. It was just one day, with seven of us leaders. And.... it got me thinking about this past semester and everything that's gone on.

The semester's coming to an end and I'm not sure what to make of it. No doubt, Agape has probably been one of the most insane journeys I ever decided I would venture onto. It has had more ups and downs yet holds so much more potential than anything I could have expected. And while I've been discouraged and hurt and angered by Agape at times, it was worth it. It forced me to constantly wrestle with God and really, really look into my heart. Now I'm gonna share some of the things I've struggled with.

Before I start, let me just say that I debated for a long time over whether or not to say this. Because when I write this I'm gonna talk about judgments I made about others that I had/have no right to make, and it's all pretty much just my arrogance and my bitterness, and not so much about other people's flaws. Okay here we go...

August 28th, 7:11AM: I wait at the flagpole, with quiet anticipation. I'm not tired. I'm excited. We, as the Agape leaders, have decided that we want to have prayer meetings every morning at 7:11, starting today. We're going to change the course of history through our prayer. We're going to pray consistently, and God will hear our prayer. God will use it. No one else is here to pray yet, but I want to get started. So I do. I trust God will do something great. Okay. It's 7:30AM and time for class. No one else showed up. Whatever, they probably forgot. It's only the first prayer meeting anyway...
Unlimited potential is all I can see in Agape. I'm soooooo ready to see God do everything He has ever dreamed of doing. YAY more prayer tomorrow!

September 4th, 7:11AM: ARE YOU SERIOUS. Nobody else has been showing up. All the leaders said they were in support of daily prayer meetings. Why aren't they coming?! I'm tired, too. I lost a lot of sleep to get here, too. I had to wake up earlier, too. I feel the cold in the morning, too. I'm angry. I try praying to God for Lowell, but I'm soooo distracted. It's only the second week of school, and already everyone's too lazy to have any commitment?

September 12th, 7:11AM: Tiffany and I have been praying together at the flagpole for a couple days now. This girl is so amazing, and it's really good to have her to pray with. We decide that, even though no one (not even Agape leaders) is showing up to prayer meetings, and even though we can't see much change that our prayer has made, God's using our prayer as the basis for Him to do something amazing. We decide it's an honor to be a part of God's plan in this way.

October 20th, 4:00PM: Yes, Tiffany and I have still been going. Sometimes the prayer feels repetitive, and sometimes our prayer is the only thing that gets me through the day. Yet sometimes I'm too bitter about how flaky the Agape leaders are to really mean any of the prayers I say. I bring up the fact that none of the Agape leaders have shown up to even just one prayer meeting at the leaders' meeting. We change daily prayer meetings to Thursdays after school.
Still. Nobody shows up.
The same thing happens to worship workshops.
And volunteering at the Food Bank.

It's really risky to want a lot from God. Because it's so discouraging to want to see God at Lowell in ways bigger and more incredible than ever before, and then have all the people--leaders--that were cool with these ideas just flake. I started to become a very bitter, angry person. They're all flakes, so why am I investing so much of myself in to Agape? Yeah, this was definitely my pride speaking right there. As more and more people flaked more often, I became even more annoyed, my heart became harder, and my pride began to speak more and more.

Anyway, I started thinking... because after a while, I wasn't doing things because I really wanted to do them. Sure, it started out that way, but after everyone flaked and I was doing it all on my own, I was really doing it purely for the sake of doing it. Prayer meetings weren't about me crying out to God, they were about me being out there, praying, despite the fact that no one else would. Going to the food bank wasn't about me caring about people the way Jesus did, it was about me going and discovering that everyone else had ditched. Okay, so what if they were flakes? So was I.

This changed everything; this realization that the flaws in them were totally apparent in me too. We were both dirty, yet both sooooo valuable and perfect. Shane Claiborne put it really well in The Irresistible Revolution when he wrote,
"When we look through the eyes of Jesus, we see new things in people. In the murderers we see our own hatred. In the addicts, we see our own addictions. In the saints, we catch glimpses of our own holiness. We can see our own brokenness our own violence, our own ability to destroy, and we can see our own sacredness, our own capacity to love and forgive. When we realize that we are both wretched and beautiful, we are freed up to see others the same way. When we have new eyes, we can look into the eyes of those we don't even like and see the One we love. We can see God's image in everyone we encounter. As Henri Nouwen puts it, "In the face of the oppressed I recognize my own face, and in the hands of the oppressor I recognize my own hands. Their flesh is my flesh, their blood is my blood, their pain is my pain, their smile is my smile." We are made of the same dust. We cry the same tears. No one is beyond redemption. And we are free to imagine a revolution that sets both the oppressed and the oppressors free."

So I'm learning to see people differently. I'm learning to love people like I love myself. I'm learning to be patient and not lose hope and not get bitter. And I'm learning how to stop caring who flakes and who doesn't. If I wanna pray for Lowell at 7:11AM every morning for the right reasons, then I'm gonna do it. Whether or not people show up does not matter. I'm broken, too. I flake out, too. So how can I love them any less? How can I be angry if I'm joining God in what He wants me to do? Shoot, where do I even find it in me to cast judgment on them? God's still good, and I'm still learning.

k that was longer than I thought it would be.. thanks for reading if you did.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

update on the Balboa Christian Club

Hey ya'll! I thought that as long as we CAN post things about our clubs, i thought it'd be good to let you guys know how the Balboa Christian Club (B.I.B.L.E. or BCC) is doing and ask you guys for your prayers :].

praise God that we've been meeting consistently each week, with almost everyone being a regular attendee. this past week we sang some Christmas songs together. *nod.* we're also as a club trying to find out where we wanna go from here, and how we can improve the group. it's a bit difficult to get responses from this soft-spoken group, but i guess we'll just trust God to do His thing.

so, i please ask that you'd pray that this club will first and foremost glorify God in everything we do. also, right now we're waiting to take that next baby step and start taking ownership of the club, because i think most people come but don't have the joy of this fellowshipping. oh and that we get to know each other, b/c we only meet during the very limited lunch time and its tough building relationships. thanks peoples :] . have an awesome Christmas!

Where to Meet...

I think other people should post on this blog. I'm a little pathetic if..... yeah. haha.

Anyway, we're still looking for a place to have our next planning meeting (Saturday, January 10th, 2pm.) My house is open, but inconvenient for everyone who doesn't live in North Beach (aka almost everyone.) Any suggestions for where we can meet?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Thoughts on Christmas

I used to like Christmas but now I don't know, ‘cause sometimes I just can't help but feel

Like Christmas isn't really this amazing time of year, but a time to be fake and hide feelings that are ugly but real.

'Cause I look around at Christians I know, and around December they're all laughs and smiles,

But inside I honestly don't think I feel the same. I look at myself and my struggles and trials,

And I don't know if I can genuinely put on that smile. It seems like it's just a mask of holiday cheer,

And I don't think God's about using some cheesy December tradition to cover my doubts and fears.

I call myself a Christian but I sometimes wonder if this is really all God intended, ‘cause if it is then I don't know

If I want to do this whole "Christmas" thing—just a chance to hide and put on some show.

 

There's nothing wrong with smiling but I don't think I can, because I feel so distant from God and I'm stuck,

Climbing through a valley, with a steep hill ahead—I’m in pain, I'm hurting, I'm all out of luck,

So how can I put on a smile and pretend it's all fine, when all I really feel is abandoned by this God who,

Supposedly, is loving, faithful, just and kind. God, tell me, how is it that this can be true?

I'm waiting to be rescued, I need to know that there's more than carols and cookies and halls all decked.

God show me there's more because I'm through with this. I need to know that when I get through this trek, 

There'll be sunshine at the top of this long hill ahead. So maybe this is what Christmas is supposed to be for,

Finding rescue and hope in this Savior, to know, beyond the trials and the hurts, that there's so much more.

 

There's comfort in knowing that this isn't it. All the pain and sorrow is alright to feel,

Because there's a God who knows, He's been there too. If I'll just wait and trust He's worth a great deal

To know that Rescue has come and is coming again, amidst all this suffering I'm feeling right now,

With jingle bells ringing and Christmas approaching, Jesus still knows what I feel and gives hope somehow.

That because He came, because He was born, because He died on that cross and rose again,

He gave me life beyond the trials and pain. God, You give me comfort through redemption,

And in my doubts and fears and hurt and rejection, I'll cling onto this hope that Jesus gives.

So thank You, Jesus, thank You for coming. Thank You for the hope that gives me inspiration to live.

Thank You for coming and living and giving away. Thank You for coming and crying my very same cry.

Thank You for coming and suffering for my sake. Thank You for coming while knowing at the cross you'd die,

To give me a love that is better than life.

 

So even when I do see through corny holiday cheer,

Into my own sorrowful, self-pitying, and selfish tears,

I can trust that there's more to hope for, through You, Jesus Christ,

So thank You, Jesus, thank You, for everlasting life.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Beginning

Here begins an amazing blog for Christian high schoolers to share/post on.
If you didn't get an email asking if you wanted to become an author on this blog and you would like to be able to post on this blog, email me, Ally.
This blog is for EVERYONE to read, so let all your friends know that they can find out what's happening with other Christian high schoolers around the city by going to UnifiedinChristSF.blogspot.com

For now, I'll post what we went over today at the leaders meeting. Thanks to the leaders that came from Lincoln, Wallenberg, Balboa, Galileo, Washington, and Lowell!!

Events to look forward to:
-January 10th, 2PM: our next planning meeting!
place tba, please come or have someone from your school come

-February 21st, 5-9PM: Dinner Potluck to get to know each other and fellowship together
might be at sunset or sfcac, depending on what we can get

-March 21st, 1-8PM: Scavenger Hunt and Dinner Fundraiser
People will pay $10 to participate in an Amazing-Race-like scavenger hunt and then sit and eat Chinese food together after. We'll arrange teams beforehand so there's a few people from each school in each team. We're hoping to have the event start and end at SF Chinese Church of the Nazarene (in North Beach). All procedes will go to Glide Memorial Church.

-April 18th: Game-a-thon
play dodgeball. we didn't plan this in great detail...

-May 16th: Rally
think of themes for the rally, then we can start looking for speakers and stuff. theme might be unity, but let's see what other ideas we come up with. if the 16th doesn't work, we'll go for Friday the 15th.

We're expecting anywhere from 30-70 people to come to these events.
Also, we want to get in contact with Christians at Mission, SH, and Mercy.